To the women who bitch and moan about their age… Whine and groan about how hard it is to be single and in their thirties… Or flat out try and lie about their age because they feel “old”… I say to you:

Get off your pity pot, throw on a little makeup (and really, I mean a little) and get out there and enjoy being a WOMAN!!

I don’t know about you, but I celebrate every year I gain! I learn more about myself, this world and men with every year that passes! I’ll tell you this much… I didn’t know SHIT at 23!! I played games, got played and drank WAAAY too much to be cute! I wouldn’t want my twenties back for anything!! When I see these girls running around acting like fools, I am grateful to move into a new decade with my head held high! There is nothing worse than a pretty little 22yr old slobbering drunk, trying to get the attention of everyone in the room by hiking her dress up and grinding with some poor schmuck who will inevitably remember this moment for the rest of his life, as the day the hottest girl in Austin gave him a woody and puked on his shoes! Yeah ladies… the twenties are awesome! (she says as she rolls her eyes with distain!!)

No thanks! Trust me you land much better fish when you don’t smell like Lone Star and Roppolo’s pizza!! I enjoy being a square! A sexy, classy, thirty something square! Its time to embrace the class and the wisdom that comes with the experience that these little twenty something’s have yet to earn!! To all my women over 29 I say… Take back the night!! We look, smell, act, dress and taste better! We ARE the New Little Black Dress!!