Here’s one that I think everybody can relate to. Have you ever walked in a bar, look around and notice “wow, there’s a lotta dudes in here!“? Or on a rare occasion, “wow, there’s a lotta chicks here!” Are you improving or worsening the guy/girl ratio? Is it to your benefit? Usually, sausage fests are not preferable. But why is that? Let’s explore this ratio issue.

  • Too much testosterone to the square foot is a good recipe for fights.
    1. First, place a buncha dudes inside the bar, preferably in groups of 4+. For better results, pick dudes of the douchebaggery kind.
    2. Distribute them sporadically by the following areas: around the dancefloor, against the walls, or around a table with a bottle on it.
    3. Make sure they barely move. No dancing. No walking around. Just a bent arm or both holding a drink. High-Fives are allowed though.
    4. Add rounds of shots. Add drinks. Then add more shots. Then drinks. Then shots. Until at least 1 of our subjects feels numb.
    5. Decrease the amount of females present in order to create a sensation of helpnessless (or “pussylessness“) in the subjects.
    6. Now let it simmer for a few minutes. Sit back and watch the drama unfold for you have recreated the perfect environment for a fight.
    7. And TA DA! One false move, a unintentional bump, a spilled drink, a flirty attitude with the wrong girl is all it takes for hell to break loose!
  • Girls don’t feel comfortable around too many guys. Have you ever seen a girl dancing by herself while 3 guys are just standing on the sidelines wondering which and how one will get to rub up on her first? Well, picture this scenario but all over the bar. For the ladies, going to the bathroom is an adventure, an expedition, a mission. They realize that they’ll have to walk past a barrage of random butt grabs and obnoxious hollering on the way to the sacred temple that is the ladies room (hopefully that’ll be the subject of another post). I guess that’s why they go in groups. Reinforcements to make sure they make it back safe and sound. If girls don’t feel safe, they simply leave thus increasing the level of pussylessness in the bar and you’re back to situation above. Then the guys leave, then the bar becomes empty so it is not making money.
  • As a guy, you believe in the “why bring sand to the beach” theory. The expression makes sense but do you really need to bring your friends Bucket, Shovel, Pail and Rake to play with the sand already there? No. And no offense to my fellow black people, but you guys are the worst at this. Usually, groups of Asians, Whites, Hispanics, Indians and others have at least 1 or 2 females. Black dudes, very rarely. The concept of rolling deep is not a contest. If you believe the higher the number of dudes in your crew increases your chances at hooking up with the ladies, you just have poor logic and need to revise your approach because I’ve never seen it work (except in porn movies and those are staged).
  • In the bar business, you must draw a line between risk and profit. For security reasons, it’s risky to have a lotta guys around but for profit reasons those guys will actually spend money at the bar (if the level of pussylessness is reasonable). They buy the rounds. They get a table and order bottles. In other words, they do it big and often to get increase the level of pussylessness in their immediate surroundings.

So how do you solve this issue? Well, one thing I’ve seen in lotsa cities around the world, they enforce the girl/guy ratio at the door. For instance, if I were to go out with 1 guy and 1 girl, the doorguy has the right to say “sorry but one of you fellas gotta go“. The sorting must happen at the door. I don’t think it’s discrimination, it’s just for the better because once inside you have the ideal environment: a 1 to 1 guy/girl ratio or better (as in more girls).

  1. Girls are happy cuz they are not hit on every 2 minutes and enjoy a safe night with their friends.
  2. Guys are happy cuz there’s a high level of pussylessness so a lower risk of frustation thu as lower risks of fights.
  3. The bar people are happy cuz people are spending money at the bar.

This is not a perfect science but at least it makes sense to me. I’ve seen it at put in place and our survey said “it works!”.

So what do you think? What is the ideal guy/girl ratio? What about the sausage fest problem? How would you solve it?[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]