This past weekend was quite eventful and amusing as we had Texas Relays going down in Austin. I have never been and figured since I heard it’s the last time this is gonna take place in the ATX, why not see what it’s all about.

It’s almost impossible to sum up in a small story what I have observed. I figured, I would give a brief rundown of the things that stuck to mind the most. Pardon in advance the abruptness and randomness of my thoughts as the loud statements of what I and my friends witnessed is hard to make a sense of.

Apparently, it’s O.K. to….

  1. Get out of your Buick (with basic rims) at a red light, jump on the hood of it and do something along the lines of a Dougie and a Stanky Leg and when people ask what’s the point of it, the man replies with “Because I’m real!”… Not really sure what the connection is there so…Alrighty then, LOL
  2. Have a block party at the nearest Shell gas station… Man, I knew I have been missing out on something big these past years…*shaking my head* – hahaha
  3. Have your doors, windows and trunk popped as well as porn is playing on a 32 inch TV screen that barely fits in the backseat of your car, as it is slowly rolling through the streets.
  4. Wear the shortest and smallest dress you could possibly find at the nearest store because you got curves and you want to show them off…Sweetheart, um…that’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.
  5. Wear nothing but a cutoff tank-top and pantyhose with no panties…*yikes*
  6. Dry hump the nearest guy you see at a club because he might just be a football player who is gonna make you his side chick and might be willing to pay for your meal at an iHop after the clubs close down.
  7. Imitate a blowjob in the middle of a dance-floor because you do it better than the next chick …Real classy! *rolls eyes*
  8. Approach a guy on the street and say “I’m not a queer but you are the prettiest n**ga I have ever seen…” Whoaaaa there buddy, I’m with the dude, go away…also, you may want to go and get some tooth implants while you’re at it…I think you’re missing a few.
  9. Grab a random girl’s hand and say, “Come holla at me lil mama…”…How about don’t touch me and how about I’m not interested. We are not in a meat market! Use words, don’t grab!
  10. Ask for a phone number and say “I will call you and you need to come through” just because you are Ray J…Um, seen your sex tape buddy, not impressed.
  11. Grab a girl’s hips as hard as your hands could and imitate doggy style…Yo, how about keep your boner and bedroom moves to yourself. Just because you bought one drink (that I didn’t ask for) and I smiled, does not give you a privilege of thinking of what could be…cuz guess what, it ain’t gonna be nothing…yep, I said it…double negative!

*Deuces*[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]