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Can you please NOT touch me?

No, this doesn’t refer to that creepy guy who feels comfortable grabbing or touching you in the club….it’s to ANYONE who can’t seem to be able to keep within their own space on the dance floor. I was actually kicked out of a club in Vegas a few months ago (which is funny b/c I was actually the guest of the DJ and was just waiting for him to get off work so we could leave this overpriced, overrated club on the Strip)!

Yes, me! Just a nice girl from Austin who does NOT want to be bumped on the dancefloor every two seconds by some drunk girl who can’t stand up in her high heels. After the 7th or 8th time, I admit, I did kinda elbow her and told her to quit bumping me.

The lady (since I will not use profanity here) actually ran and told the bouncer that I had “threatened” her. I was escorted to the back corridor and questioned and after I laughed in the “Head Security” guards face realized that he was serious. He asked me a series of questions and once I said the right thing, “I don’t like people pushing me on the dancefloor” He said, “Well then you have to leave b/c we can’t have people that can’t be bumped.” DUDE! The club had been open for 10 minutes and there were only 20 people dancing and she insisted on trampling me. “Nope! doesn’t matter, once the club is at capacity we can’t have you in here b/c you will get bumped.” OK! Bump me when it’s full, but DON’T bump when there is 20′ on either side of you!!

I happened to be wearing 6″ heels in the abnormally short crowd. I was def taller than almost everyone in there. Either this girl was jealous, mean or just really uncoordinated. I guess since she paid $25 cover, she thought that included slam dancing. I’ve never liked it when anyone comes and takes over a dancefloor (yes, that means b-boyz too) but really now….to go and tattle in the nightclub like a 6 year old??!!?? Weak. I got kicked out. I hope she threw up all over herself and hooked up with the nastiest dude in the club…There were plenty of them in there for her to fight for.

Peace out and if you see me on the floor…one little bump will suffice!

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