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The Group Hook Up Part 1

I love people-watching. I think of it as live entertainment: trying to figure out what people are saying based on their body language and facial expressions. You can tell when a group of guys is eyeing a group of girls, when a couple just had an argument, when a douchebag is about to make a move, when a girl is worried about her friend who went to the bathroom 10 minutes ago, when the bartender is just annoyed by a bad tipper, when someone is pretending to text someone but he’s just going through his Facebook Newsfeed because he can’t stand there alone like a jackass, the look on the DJ’s face when a birthday girl requests a song. If you stop for a couple of minutes and look around, it’s like time stops and you catch a glimpse of all the different stories unfolding before your eyes. Well, today I’ll just recount probably one of the most common scenario in the nightlife history: The Group Hook Up.

First, let me introduce the protagonists. Meet John (because everybody knows a John). He is your typical average everyday dude, border-line douchebag but with a sense of dignity. He doesn’t like to be the center of attention but, with just the right amount of alcohol in his blood, he can get obnoxious at times. He’s a big football fan and used to play for his school. What’s his favorite team? For the sake of the story, it doesn’t matter. His idea of a good time, besides being surrounded by hot chicks, consists of watching the game at a sports bar, high-fiving strangers and making John Madden-like comments at a TV screen. He doesn’t really have a career job but makes enough money to live a balanced and somewhat stress-free life. He’s been a few relationships in his life, including one that almost led him to an engagement; but at this moment, he’d rather remain single and find other fishes in the sea.

So on the weekends, he goes out. He usually puts on a button-up shirt and designer jeans from the Buckle, on Saturday nights. He applies just a little bit of gel to make a small faux hawk or just got out of the barbershop that afternoon with a clean cut. He’s an occasional drinker, especially when the occasion is the weekend. He’s a beer guy but will do any kind of shot when offered. Also he never goes out without his two fraternity brothers, roommates and amigos who look just like him: Michael and Jason (also because those are very common names). They didn’t drive together because they never know where the night may lead each of them. It’s 11pm, they meet up on the street, all roll in the club together and head straight for the bar where the inebriation process begins.

Then you have Jessica who is your typical girl next door: a nice down-to-earth good-looking girl who loves romantic comedies. She works as an administrative assistant in a medium-sized company. Her parents are well-off so she doesn’t really have a care in the world. Car, insurance, and rent are paid for. So whatever she makes is so she can spoil herself. She keeps herself in shape by working out on a regular basis. She’s the cute girl with the purple yoga pants you see at Gold’s Gym after work on the treadmill with her iPod on shuffle. And she’s made a special playlist to work out to which includes artists like Lil’ Wayne, Beyonce and Pink. She has chosen Saturdays as the day she stimulates the economy by taking over the mall with her besties. Now, in her mid-20′s, she’s been in a serious relationship once before, unfortunately with a douchebag who treated her like shit. The dude was borderline psycho: he’s cheated on her several times but Jessica really loved him and stuck around anyway. Her friends always told her to dump his sorry ass and she finally left him a few months ago. But everybody knows she likes the bad boy type and can get really flirty after a few Vodka Tonics.

It took her, her friends Sandra, Lisa, and their other friends with names that end with “a” three hours to get ready at Amanda’s house. You guessed it: it’s Girls Night Out! They’ve been planning this night for a while because it’s hard for these ladies to all get together for one night. Some have boyfriends. Others are broke. Others don’t even like going out. But it’s for Jess’s birthday so they all answered the call and it’s time to celebrate. They’re all wearing skirts and high heels so the clicketies are out. There will be a lot of Vodka mixed drinks going down those throats. Melissa and Christina split the bunch in 2 cars and followed each other downtown. After a long huddle in the car while jamming to the latest Drake song, they decide to bumrush the same bar that John & Co. are currently occupying. It’s time to celebrate Jessica’s birthday!

As soon as the pack of “a” girls makes its entrance, our boys pause to admire. This must be their lucky night, they think. These are great odds for them: they are outnumbered 2 to 1. The scene is set. Let the drama unfold. Now that targets have been acquired, what is their strategy? How do they plan to approach this female bunch without fail? First impression is everything and our boys have to play it just right or it’s game over. As for the girls, they’re not paying attention to their surrounding; they’re too focused on Jessica who’s already ordered her first birthday shot of the night. How are John and his friends going to make their move? Will Jessica and her friends be kind enough to let them join their party? How will this play out? It’s like watching National Geographic and I’m the narrator guy. Does this sound familiar to you? This should be interesting… Stay tuned for Part 2.

To be continued…

About Bak

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If you know me, you know that I am fascinated with Austin's nightlife. The bars. The clubs. The music. The people. The DJs. The atmosphere. I guess I go out a lot maybe too much. I support my people, bartenders, DJs, promoters and so on. Now I realize that all the nights spent walking the streets of downtown Austin was just research to help build this site.

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